(Originally a publicity photo for The Simple Life)
I had visions of being a semi-glamorous homesteader. In my vanity and naivete, I saw no reason why I couldn't look like a lady, even if I was working like a serf. But after this weekend, I think that ship has sailed.
1. First of all, I now have the weirdest "farmer tan" ever. Far, far away from my perfectly even, cultivated and maintained golden tanning-bed tan of years past, I now have a section of each arm that is burned in a blotchy strip from a defined line above my wrist (where my gloves stopped) to the middle of my upper arm where my shirt sleeve ended. Add to that, the bright red V on my chest (why did I not wear a crew neck?!) and the red blotches on my chin, nose and the tops of my cheeks.
2. My legs and arms are covered in scabby scratches from the briars and thorny vines I was ripping out of trees. (Ok, perhaps capri pants weren't the best option for outdoor work, but I was hot. Who knew?!)
3. I have snaggle-tooth nails, and my cuticles are beyond repair. I don't even want to go into how long it took to get the dirt out from under my nails... I thought the point of wearing gloves was to protect your hands! How did the dirt even get in there???
4. It wasn't until after the neighbors left from their visit, that I realized I had rubbed my nose while wearing my dirty gloves, so I had a very visible line of dirt on my upper lip, looking exactly like a mustache! Quel horror!
At work today, I've already received a variety of helpful and not-so-helpful suggestions. For example, a suggestion from one of my male coworkers: avoid the farmer tan by just gardening in the nude... =/ Um, no. Not likely.
On the flip side, one friend did suggest that I affix a hook to the end of an extension pole in order to hook the vines in the trees without having to get so close to grab them and risk all the cuts. Now that one, I think I might actually try.
In the meantime, I guess I'm in the market for some tank tops, cuticle oil, neosporin and maybe some facial cleansing cloths to keep handy in case company stops by again...
This weekend:
- Planted (most of) the beds! Tomatoes, cucumbers, peppers, lettuce, kale, squash, beans, cauliflower, broccoli, brussel sprouts, onions... Woohoo!
- Rigged up a watering system with soaker hoses. More on that later.
- Marked the pretty flowering trees so we don't damage them by accident.
- Cut the (thorny, #$%@#*) vines out of the trees nearest my house site, and trimmed the lower tree branches (because I kept walking into them, and was afraid of losing an eye)
No comments:
Post a Comment